Rock of Ages

I gravitate toward strange games. When developers take financial risks by putting faith in something completely new and unique, I feel compelled to give their game a look. Yet, in most cases, I at least have some idea what I’m getting myself into. Shadows of the Damned may be a bizarre trip, but it still has familiar shooting mechanics. There isn’t much like Soulcaster on the market, but the tower defense roots can be easily traced back to the source. Rock of Ages rolled into my life without calling to introduce itself first. The odd appearance and strange sense of humor lured me in, but it’s the rock solid interior that spurred me to call for a second date (after a few anxious days pacing by the phone, of course). I could list some features that are comparable to a few other more widely known titles, but Rock of Ages wasn’t constructed with the bits and pieces of other’s success. ACE Team and Atlus have released a fanciful title with an identity all its own, and while it doesn’t hit every target on the way down the hill, the ride itself is certainly worth the meager asking price.

The outlandishness begins with the story. You play as Sisyphus, an ancient Greek character who has fallen on some rough times. Instead of having fun adventures in the wonderland that is Greece, he’s doomed to forever roll a giant boulder up and down a hill. This is a pretty lousy existence, but what really inconveniences Sisyphus is a little demon that jabs him in the posterior whenever progress is being made. Sisyphus’s solution to all his woes? Smash the hell out of everything with this boulder he’s gotten quite acquainted with as of late. He escapes this hellish existence and enters our world – or at least, periods of it.

You’ll travel through five distinct time periods: Ancient Greek, Medieval, Renaissance, Rococo, and Goya. Each has a unique art style and set of opponents that are introduced in wildly whimsical scenes placed right before actual gameplay begins. Some take the obvious route, like Leonidas kicking a man across a gap in Sparta. Other caricatures, such as Louie the XIV’s portrayal as a giddy buffoon with severe digestive issues, are more original. No matter the direction it takes, Rock of Ages does a fantastic job of setting a tone through little stories that seem to be pulled right out of a pop-up book. They may not explain why Napoleon or Leonardo want to challenge you to a boulder-off, but in such a bizarre world like this, I think some things are better left unsaid.

Toeing the line between creepy and terrifying.

This isn’t just a series of ludicrous historical references, though; as ACE Team actually built a game here. The gameplay of Rock of Ages is best described in two parts. While you wait for a boulder to be chiseled by two small men in the corner, you’re tasked with spending what money you’re allotted to set up a strong defense. The obstacles you can purchase, such as towers, catapults, explosive barrels, and war elephants, are meant to slow the progress of your enemy’s boulder as it rolls down the map. It’s comparable to tower defense, but with so many wide channels and shortcuts available on the way down the slope, it’s more about predicting an enemy’s route rather than crowding a known path with artillery. The second and more important part of the game is the boulder rolling. Once the rock has been formed, it’s up to you to guide it along the quickest path to the bottom. Like Marble Madness or Monkey Ball, the boulder has a distinctive weight about it. Once momentum has been built, it’s difficult to cut corners or slow your roll. Yet, speed is the name of the game, as you must travel down the path littered with enemy defenses and smash through the opponent’s gate first in order to achieve victory.

As in any good physics-based boulder simulator, the further you progress, the more complicated and challenging the levels become. While the first few maps incorporate sharp curves and big jumps, factors such as water currents, aggressive gusts of wind, multiple shortcuts and even giant war elephants really make things interesting later on. It may take a few tries to get a feel for new terrain, but it’s amusing to try and find the quickest possible way to reach the bottom. Of course, the trip down won’t be the same every time since different obstacles or upgrades to existing units are granted in each new area, so you have to expect the unexpected. The tower and elephant traffic may slow your roll, but given that structural destruction is rewarded with cash, the loss of speed may be worth the risk.

Even with an array of insane impediments ahead of you, it’ll most likely be the actual level design that trips you up rather than the cow in your path.  It’s fun to try and think up clever ways to block certain routes or knock an enemy rock off the ramp, but since the boulder has the ability to jump, the defensive element feels a little futile. The AI managed to entrap me once by putting a large machine that produces gusts of wind behind a tall tower that can only be scaled at top speed, but it’s only these random combinations that ever feel truly effective. When my turret makes direct contact with an enemy boulder and knocks him off of the stage, I feel more lucky than skilled. It’s a shame, too, since a more strategic focus would have really encouraged me to replay more of the maps.

The Unreal Engine makes the game look surprisingly pretty.

The AI is surprisingly solid, but it’s just never the same as playing against friends or even unnecessarily vocal strangers. The two modes (War and Skeeboulder) are both playable online and locally, with a wide variety of campaign maps and units available. War is identical to how the campaign is played – set your units, launch the boulder and break down the door (it usually takes about three good whacks to bring it down). It’s still fun here, but as I stated before, the weak defensive elements hinder the replay value. What is a hoot every single time is Skeeboulder. You and a buddy both travel down a single track with the same goal – rack up as many points as possible. Points are earned by hitting stationary targets along the way, and however many points you earn are multiplied by the numbered hole you land in at the end. Yes, a giant skee-ball target awaits you at the end. It’s a perfect fit for the peculiar vibe Rock of Ages is sporting, and the most competitive, wild fun that can be had in this $10 package. It’s sad there’s only one mini-game like this, but I hope to see a few more editions via DLC.

Rock of Ages is a weird-ass game. From the giant, happy-faced 3D boulder rolling down a storybook world, all the way to the boss battle that forces you to clock a giant statue in the privates to achieve victory. It’s like nothing else on this diverse market, and that’s exactly why I’m glad it exists. ACE Team has produced a game that no one was asking for, but a spark of creativity is exactly what we needed all along. It’s the perfect end to what has been a summer full of unusual surprises.

Josiah Renaudin

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