The Cursed Crusade

With the cost of game development increasing so greatly over the past few years, the stream of generic, poorly made rubbish that once flooded past generations has lost some of its pressure. Popular franchises have made it a much more competitive medium and while innovative and original titles still find their niche, it’s tough for publishers to plug money into “another action game with a big-ass sword”. There are still quickly slopped-together products that ooze their way through the cracks, but the majority either hit the online marketplaces at a discount price or land on the Wii (no offense, Nintendo). Yet, it’s due to this increase in quality that the clunkers wrapped in a retail package stand out even greater. The Cursed Crusade may be considered a “budget” title at $39.99, but it’s also a perfect example of a soulless piece of software that shouldn’t have made its way onto a disc. It’s not fundamentally broken or offensive, but the fact that it looks and plays like a decade-old action title make its release feel completely inconsequential. The Crusades are a fascinating part of history, but I guarantee that you’ll find more entertainment out of a good book based on the wars than this game.

If you do end up choosing The Cursed Crusade over a fine piece of literature, just take this story with a grain of salt. Actually, I suggest an entire shaker. The game focuses on two crusaders – Denz de Bayle and Esteban Noviembre. While Noviembre (yes, his last name really is November in Spanish) is nothing more than an aimless wanderer who, after being rescued from the cruel curve of a blade, owes his life to his companion, de Bayle is on an actual quest. De Bayle’s uncle has claimed the land that rightfully belongs to Denz and his family, but since his father never returned from the Third Crusade, there’s no way to prove ownership. Yet, Denz has not given up hope that his father is still alive, and decides that joining the Forth Crusade is the best chance he has at finding him. Also, it’s his only chance at discovering redemption from the curse. In the world of The Cursed Crusade, Death constantly pursues those whose families have committed the most egregious of sins in the past. These individuals are damned to Hell before they even get a chance to consider committing a sin, and our two heroes must find a way to break this curse while fending for their lives in the war.

Between chapters there are monologues that explain genuine, historical facts about The Crusades, and are surprisingly interesting to listen to. This is a subject matter that I’ve studied in college, so getting a chance to further that knowledge made listening to these segments worthwhile. The rest is complete bunk. Cutscenes are painfully drawn out by exposition and laughable action, characters lack even the slightest linings of a personality and the curse just seems like a cheap excuse to make this a fantasy title. It’s an interesting subject matter to begin with and the curse just isn’t a strong enough hook to be necessary. Even if there were a unique fantasy element present, the characters are just too weak to draw interest. Denz magically knowing more than every other character about every peculiar happening just makes him look like a smartass, and Esteban may be the most generic Mexican stereotype to be featured in a game (even though he’s Spanish). So, expect a hefty amount of “hombres” and “locos” to find their way into his gravely accent without the slightest hint of humor. It’s just a wordy mess, and the insipid characters with overdramatic voices only add to the problem.

Even the large, thick swords have a short shelf life.

When the talking finally stops and the swords are pulled from their sheaths, The Cursed Crusade only runs into bigger problems. This is your standard action game with light and heavy attacks, but swinging a sword and moving around the environment almost feels like a chore. Both Denz and Noviembre move as if they have muscular dystrophy and handle their weapons more like peasants than soldiers. Enemy targeting bounces around without warning, enemies take dozens of hits before finally falling and finishing moves repeat too often to seem special or exciting. Worst of all are the flimsy armaments picked up. Weapons dropped by foes can be grabbed at any time, and there are a multitude of different historically accurate blades to try. Denz can duel wield short swords, handle a spear with both hands and even carry a crossbow if necessary. The variety is nice, but weapons break so quickly that combat becomes nothing but a series of quick scrambles for something to swing. Picking up and changing weapons is also exceptionally clunky, so if you’re being attacked while trying to manage inventory, you can pretty much kiss your ass goodbye.

If too many enemies are pestering you at once, there’s always the option of activating the curse and shifting into Hell. While this is supposed to weaken enemies and buff up your own skills, it’s really just an excuse to light the world on fire and change up the visuals. It’s neat for a few minutes, but it’s not long before it loses its appeal. You’re still whacking dudes with a blunt object, and you still have to deal with the clunky control. Really, the whole game is just dealing with the less than perfect combat. There’s times when you’re pushing a ballista toward a gate or poking out from cover to shoot your bow, but I wouldn’t exactly call that “variety.” There are dozens of missions to complete in the sizable campaign, but after about an hour or play, you’ve seen it all. You can also spend time searching the streets for treasure chests, but the only thing waiting inside are Victory Points. These points are used to enhance your aptitude with specific weapon combinations, but since every upgrade for each weapon amounts to little more than “now you can press the square button four times”, there’s no incentive to open every chest. Stats like strength and constitution can also be increased, but the benefits there are also sparse.

It sounds strange, but Hell is the most visually interesting part of the game.

If there is a way to play The Cursed Crusade, it’s with a friend. There’s both online and offline co-op, and while it doesn’t fix any of the fundamental issues I have with the game, it’s just an adventure obviously suited for two people. Gates need to be opened by a duo and heavy objects require two people to be pushed. Combat even has a slightly better flow with an actual person by your side. The AI is spotty and unresponsive, so to reduce headaches, recruit whoever is closest to you to take its place. Trust me, he’ll thank you later.

As I’ve said before, it all feels like a rushed game from a generation gone by, and the visuals may be the biggest piece of evidence toward this. Nothing about this title looks like a game that belongs in the current generation, and the constant clipping and texture pop-in really doesn’t help. Faces look plastic, and the only real visual spectacle that impresses is the fiery view from the curse. I understand this is a budget title, but the broken physics and appalling clipping uses are still inexcusable.

This is the second crusade-themed game I’ve reviewed this year, and the second time I’ve walked away disappointed. Where there was a certain degree of charm to the The First Templar (a game similar in both structure and plot released earlier this year), The Cursed Crusade just has no soul. Even at the low price point, there’s not enough on the disc to warrant my recommendation.

Josiah Renaudin

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